Naptime and Nutjobs
by Eyes Behind the Mask
Summary: The walk was long and the Texas sun was hot. The shade was inviting and a quick nap seemed harmless. A nightmare wasn't expected, especially after he woke up. Ghosts and zombies were the least of his worries though in this cemetery.


I wasn't sure how long I had been laying there for, leaned up against the back of that tombstone. I chose that spot for the long shadow it had cast during the afternoon, offering shade from the harsh Texas sun. I always cut through the cemetery on my way home from school. I must have dozed off while sitting there though. That didn't happen often. I was sure I would hear it from Mom when I got home. She would fuss at me for being late for dinner and then she would tell me how a big rattlesnake was going to bite me while I napped one day out here.

It was turning into evening now, the tombstone's purpose lost to me for another day. There was always the next day. I usually just sat there for a little while to get out of the sun. It was kind of a long walk between school and home, so the cool shadows of the cemetery's tall, old tombstones were quite welcoming. Sometimes I just rode the bus to and from school, but I usually preferred to walk. The cemetery was a favorite part of the walk for me and not just because of the places to sit out of the sun. Something about them just always appealed to the weirdo in me.

And while weird it might be, there was just something exciting about wandering through there, taking in the sight of century old granite, faded floral wreathes and the occasional mound of freshly turned earth. While I understood ghouls and ghosts were the stuff of comic books and slightly hokey old black and white movies I would sometimes catch on TV late Saturday nights, there was still a certain sense of danger in wandering the premises, even in the afternoons when the sun still burned bright. The idea that behind one of those towering stone obelisks... something could be lurking, waiting. The thought sent a small shiver down my spine.

I was about to climb to my feet and brush off any dead grass or dirt that might have clung to my clothing during my nap when I heard something off in the distance, growing steadily closer. It sounded like someone talking excitedly, trying to keep their voice down but for whatever reason unable to do so.

I scooted closer up to the tombstone, hoping that the monument would be enough to shield me from view, even as my mind chided me for being silly. It was likely the Old Bob, the groundskeeper who was known for drinking on the job and sleeping in a shack around the back of the cemetery coming around to check up on things, or perhaps it was someone making a late trip to lay a wreath on a family member's grave. The sensible part of me urged me to abandon my hiding place and get on out of there before Old Bob decided to lock the gates, but that part of me that enjoyed watching those old movies and wandering the cemetery in the first place made me sit still, and continue to listen.

Peeking over the top of the tombstone as I heard the voice getting closer, I quickly realized that it wasn't one person but two. I couldn't tell who they were, not in the fading light, but I suddenly got the feeling that neither of them were Old Bob. One was a tall, thin man and he appeared to be the one doing all the talking. The other one was tall too, but he was bigger. He seemed to just listen, occasionally nodding his head.

The feeling in my stomach got worse as they got closer. It wasn't Old Bob, so why were they there? Were they hoping to visit a grave before the gates were locked for the night? It struck me as pretty weird, but maybe it had been a last minute idea. There was nothing wrong with that. It was weird since most people wouldn't wait that late to visit a grave, but then again, look at me. Taking a nap in the cemetery.

As they got closer and closer, I was able to make out most of what the thinner man was saying and it was then that I realized they weren't there to visit any grave, not the grave of anyone they knew anyway.

"I think the grave was right up here! I promise you're gonna really like this one, Bubba!" the man said excitedly with a slight giggle, his voice having almost a slight awkwardness that told you he maybe wasn't quite right. "It won't be like the last one! This one should still be juicy! It's fresher! You remember what Grandpa said when we were kids about that? The juicier they are, the better they are! Oh where is it?"

I almost couldn't believe what I was hearing. They were there to dig up a grave. Did that make them grave robbers? I wasn't sure. It sounded like they had more than robbing in mind, but I couldn't imagine what. I remembered people digging up graves in comics. It was almost always to steal a dead person's jewelry and any other valuables. Sometimes though, they found a nasty surprise, like person who was buried was really a vampire waiting to be dug back up.

For a moment, I wondered if maybe I was overreacting, if maybe I had misunderstood what they meant. When they stopped just a couple rows ahead of me, I quickly ducked back down behind the tombstone and moments later, I heard the distinct sound of a couple shovels hitting the ground.

The thin one continued to jabber excitedly, not even bothering to keep his voice down now as the shovels scraped and tore at the earth.

"Bet it's not as stiff and crunchy as the last one, it'll prop real nice like. I think I picked a real winner this time, the jackpot! Come on Bubba, put your back into it, let's get her on up and out of there." The bigger one only sort of groaned in response, sounding more like some sort of animal than a man, and then the sounds of shoveling grew a bit faster.

Again I felt the urge to get out of there, that creepy crawly feeling settling into the pit of my stomach as the relentless sound of shoveling continued. The bigger guy apparently having taken the other man's words to heart and was indeed putting his back into it now. But what could I do? They were far too close to my hiding spot, and there was no way I could think of to sneak away. They would be sure to see me even in the rapidly fading light.

There wasn't anything I could do but stay put then, and hope that they'd be done and out of here quickly. After all, if they were nutty enough to stand here in the middle of a cemetery when it wasn't even completely dark and go to town digging up a grave who knew just what they might do to a kid? Especially one who had sat there and watched the whole thing and could possibly squeal on them? I didn't want to think to much on that, because I was pretty sure it wouldn't be anything good. I couldn't help but think again on some of those horror comics, the ones Mom would scowl about that would mysteriously disappear while I was out playing, and shiver again. Something told me that even though those stories were fake, there had to be something just as awful in real life to inspire them, maybe something like the two men out here.

I peeked out again behind the tombstone, careful to not move too suddenly and attract any attention. The thinner one had laid his shovel down, and was fiddling around with what looked like a Polaroid camera while the bigger one continued to doggedly shovel and grunt occasionally.

The scraping of the single shovel against the dirt continued for quite some time. I continued to watch on, careful to not peek out anymore than I already had. I knew I should have gotten out of there when I had the chance before. I knew what kind of danger I could be in if either of the two men saw me. Anyone willing to sneak into a cemetery to dig up a grave probably wouldn't hesitate much to keep a kid like me from talking about what they witnessed.

"Come on, Bubba! You're almost there!" the thinner man finally said. "I can smell it! I can smell that sweet corpse! Come on, Bubba! Keep digging! The camera's all ready to go! Dig her up!"

Bubba's shovel finally struck what I'm guessing was the top of the casket, because that was when he seemed to stop the digging, the thinner man hopping into the hole with him. I couldn't really see what was going on, between the tombstones and the fact that they were both standing in the hole now, but I could here them moving around and then the creaking of the casket's lid being opened.

"Oh yeah, she's definitely a juicy one!" the thinner man said, letting out another slight giggle. "See, Bubba? I told you this would be a good one! I told you so!"

While this was going on, it occurred to me that I could take that opportunity to make my escape, to get away from the two men before they could get back out of the hole. I still didn't move though. I wanted to, but at the same time, I really didn't want to. It was a horror comic book come to life. How many kids could say they had an opportunity like this? An opportunity to witness two creeps digging up a grave at night for who knows what purpose?

There was suddenly a flash of light and I quickly ducked back down behind the tombstone. After a moment, there was another and it was then that I realized it was the thinner man's camera. They were taking pictures of the body. I slowly peeked out again, still shocked by the whole event. I couldn't imagine why they would a picture of rotting corpse. Who did that sort of thing?

There was another flash and then the thinner man said, "Okay, Bubba! Let's get the lady out of this hole! I already know how I want her set up!"

Set up? Oh god, what were they going to do with her? Again, nastier snatches of those comics played out in my head and I shuddered, but still felt that crazy desire to continue listening and watching. Juicy one or not, that body had to be fairly rotten judging by the smell that was already starting to waft this way, sickly sweet and decayed. It smelled like a combination of overripe fruit and the time last summer when Mom got distracted and forgot to put the sausage patties away and they sat on top on the fridge for a few days before she found them. Awful.

I could hear Bubba grunt again, as the skinny one coaxed him on. There was a scrabbling sound, and then that voice again dictating just how the larger man should handle the body.

"Alright Bubba, heave her on up, but be careful! Juicy or not, you gotta be real ginger like, don't want anything to come off just yet and spoil the pictures. I got a real vision for this one, I do! Gonna look real nice, just you see."

Then there was a sound like nothing I had ever heard, and nothing I ever wanted to hear ever again, the sound of something heavy yet... wet being flopped up and out onto the ground, and that awful smell grew even stronger now. The insane giggling started back up again, almost drowning out the wheeze of Bubba climbing up out of the grave. As much as I knew it was a bad idea, I just had to see what they were doing, even though I knew I'd likely regret looking and that the picture in my own mind of it would follow me far further than any of those images from the TV or comics could ever do.

While they continued moving that wet corpse around, I decided to move, not towards an area away from these two and out of the cemetery, but closer, crawling up behind a tombstone in the next row, now only one row between them and myself. The smell of rot, of death was even stronger here. It was worse than those sausage patties. It was a smell that I knew was going to end up haunting me both while I was awake and asleep. I had never smelled anything exactly like it before and I never would again.

Both men then hoisted the woman's body up, propping her up against one of the taller tombstones, her head falling back. Her flesh was gone, a slick, red goop covered her skeletal features and whatever else might still exist within her body. Her hair was white, a clump of dirt stuck in part of it, and her empty eye sockets were staring directly at me. I had to duck back down behind the tombstone. Not because I thought they might see me, though that was a concern too, but because I couldn't stand to look at that corpse any longer. It was worse than anything I'd ever seen in any comic book or movie. It was like something that had crawled right out of Hell and now it was here in this cemetery with these two deranged lunatics.

"Hand me that wire, Bubba!" The thinner man commanded. "I've gotta get her into position!"

The sound of what I was certain was wiring tearing into what was left of that rotting corpse then filled the air. I guessed that they were wrapping it around her limbs and attaching that to the tombstone. After that, I heard the sound of the camera going off several more times. They really were taking pictures of the corpse. Something most people would never even consider doing and they were doing it like it was a regular hobby for them.

I decided to peek again. It was a little more bearable now that they had her head propped up and I couldn't see those empty eye sockets. It was still horrifying but more bearable. During those brief flashes of light, I could see Bubba's face as he watched on and I realized that he appeared to be wearing some kind of... mask. I couldn't tell just what it was exactly, but it was as weird looking as everything else about this duo and it seemed to just be the cherry on the top of this bizarre little cake.

Those flashes continued, as did that mad cackling until it seemed like it would never stop, that it would go on for eternity and I'd be right here stuck watching and listening, a captive audience. And watch I did, repulsed and yet strangely fascinated as it all played out before me. I had turned my attention from the rigged up body and more onto the two men now, especially the bigger one named Bubba wearing the freaky mask. I still couldn't really make it out with the darkness and distance, but it looked like some sort of leather almost but not quite, cobbled together pieces of it forming a crazy quilt of whatever that stuff was. I must have leaned too far forward trying to get a closer look, because his head snapped up and he turned in my direction, giving me both the scare of my life as well as a better look at that mask.

Oh God. Two sudden realizations hit me like a ton of bricks just then. That mask, it wasn't made out of plain old leather, I could make out what looked like shriveled ears and noses in places. Also, he was looking right at me now, and I could feel his eyes on me even with the distance between us. My heart began to pound harder at that thought, surely he couldn't see me over here, but the way he continued to stare told me I couldn't be more wrong if I tried.

Bubba let out a sort of whine then, like the sound an anxious dog might make, and continued to stare in my direction as that sense of dread continued to fill me. The other man continued to jabber excitedly as he shot photograph after photograph, apparently paying Bubba no mind for the moment, he was so wrapped up in his grisly art project. That fact did nothing to comfort me however, because attracting the attention of a hulking man who wore a dead skin mask and helped dig up bodies had to be just as bad if not even worse.

He didn't make a move towards me, or even another sound for that matter. He just stood there licking his teeth and lips as if confused and debating just what he should do about the fact that there was an uninvited guest witnessing their little photo shoot. Despite his size and that awful mask he wore he sort of reminded me of a kid at that moment, one who was watching another kid do something naughty and couldn't make up his mind whether to rat them out or follow the schoolyard code of not being a dirty snitch.

Apparently the desire to not be a rat won out, because he didn't alert his partner in crime and turned back to watch the photo session although he continued to send worried glances back my way occasionally. As relief began to wash over me, the man wielding the camera who I had surmised to be his brother began to berate him loudly.

"Bubba, pull your head out of your ass and get to work! Grab that shovel and get to it, you gotta fill the hole back in you idiot, you can't just leave it open! I've told you a thousand times, if you are gonna come along you gotta pay attention! Now quit screwing around and get to work!" Bubba whined anxiously and made a move for the shovel, but not before looking over his shoulder again once more towards the tombstone I was peeking out behind. Then to my horror his brother turned to look as well, no doubt wondering just what had grasped Bubba's attention. Despite his decision to not snitch me out, he had inadvertently just done so.

"What's over there, huh? Somebody there? Huh? Bubba, did you see someone, someone snooping, is that it? Can't have no snoopers, you know that!" Bubba groaned, still holding the shovel, sucking at his teeth and beginning to rock on his feet indecisively while the other man let go of the camera and took a step in my direction, his eyes scanning the darkness searching for any potential snoopers.

While I was fairly sure the man with the camera couldn't see me, I knew I was definitely screwed now. There was no way I could make a run for it now, not with him looking over this way. I should have fled when I'd had the chance, and now it was too late. I began to feel almost sick with the thought of just what they might do to me now. Even if Bubba's actions thus far made it seem as if he were loathe to harm a kid, I was sure the other man didn't share his compunction.

"What's the matter with you, you big dummy? I swear you can be absolutely useless, you know you're supposed to be the look out. Someone has gotta work the camera for corn's sake, and I'm not letting an idiot handle something so mechanically complicated. You'd break it. Well come on, out with it, did you see something or not?"

Bubba continued to almost sway on his feet and whine, but still made no move towards me as he clutched the shovel. In fact he was looking over in the opposite direction now as if he understood he had given me away and was trying to make a save now, although it was too little too late.

"Oh never mind, just get over there and look! And take that shovel with you just in case! Go on, get to it!" Bubba shuffled again, and just as I was sure that his brother was about to come over and have a look for himself another voice rang out in the darkness.

"You numbskulls! What have I told ya, huh? Idiots, lamebrains! Ya keep this up and you're gonna bring down hell on us! I break my back trying to keep up appearances and keep us afloat and you two morons go and do something like this? What have I told ya?"

Another man was now approaching from the far side of the cemetery, thankfully drawing their attention away from my hiding place. Bubba began to whine harder now, almost a squeal as the man came closer. The one holding the camera began to jabber something about snoopers when the older man cut him off, clearly annoyed with the whole mess.

"I don't wanna hear it! Nubbins, I leave ya in charge for a few hours while I go close up shop and this is what ya go and do? You're supposed to be at home tending to Grandpa, not out here mucking around with that stupid camera, and ya know that! Ain't bad enough that ya don't listen, ya go and drag Bubba along for your chicanery and ya know he don't know any better! You two are gonna be the death of me!" He bellowed, gesturing to the open grave and splayed out corpse as if pointing out a mess a dog had left on a particularly nice rug.

"Ain't much time, gotta get this cleaned up and get out of here before someone comes along. Nubbins, get back to the truck you've screwed up enough for one night! Bubba, toss that thing back in the hole and fill it up, and step on it! Double time!" Nubbins was quiet now, apparently having decided against saying anything else about a snooper and landing himself in more trouble, but before he obeyed the man's order he suddenly wrenched off the dead woman's left arm with a wet cracking sound before skittering off in the direction of the truck before the man could belt him one. His nervous giggling carried on the breeze as the older man swore incoherently and shook his fist angrily. He began to start off after Nubbins clearly intent on administering a beating, but not before addressing Bubba with an air of utter exasperation.

"Even though I left him in charge, ya ought to know better by now than to go along with his nonsense, Bubba. I told ya both to stay put. I ain't gonna be around forever to sort out these messes, now get it cleaned up and come on, we gotta get home and back to Grandpa."

Bubba hung his head briefly as if indeed ashamed of himself before he obeyed and kicked the corpse over and down into the hole. He began to fill the hole in rapidly as the older man took off after his brother, slowing a bit after they were both out of sight and ear shot and looking in my direction again. Something told me that it was safe to make a run for it now, that he wouldn't tell or come after me. He'd had several opportunities after all, and hadn't acted and had even tried in his own clumsy way to take the heat off of me. No, I figured he'd let me go, and after waiting another minute or two to be sure that I wouldn't run into the other men on my way out I scrambled out from behind the tombstone and took off in the direction opposite of the way they had gone, praying they were back at the truck waiting and not driving around.

As I'd predicted he didn't give chase and had resumed filling in the hole rapidly, as if he were just as eager as me to get out of that cemetery and on with his life. I briefly wondered about just what that life might be like as I raced for the west gate, and figured no matter how much trouble I might be in when I got home that my lot in life was far preferable to his. Despite his grotesque appearance I felt kind of sorry for him really, having to go home to that extremely messed up family and all. If this was a regular night for them I shuddered to think what must go on in that home, wherever it was. Besides, he really had done me a solid and not snitched me out and I couldn't help but feel a certain kind of camaraderie towards him for that. He really was like an overgrown kid, and as crazy as it might sound, I couldn't help but slow my pace a bit and turn back to wave quickly before hurrying on. Whether he saw it or not I didn't know, but I swear I heard a groan carrying on the wind, as if he were saying goodbye in his own way.

For a while, I avoided cutting through that cemetery on my way to and from school. Eventually, I did return to it, but it was never quite the same experience for me as it was before that night. Needless to say, I never took another nap in there either. I didn't encounter those three again, but I remember that not long after, there were reports on the radio of a rash of bizarre and gruesome grave robberies all around the area. I don't know if they ever caught the men responsible. I knew though that it was Bubba and Nubbins, taking pictures of their findings. And to this day, I can't help wondering if Bubba remembers me. Probably the only person to ever witness their actions. The only person to know and yet I never told anyone about it. Not my parents, not my friends, not the police. Maybe I should have.

I know I'll never be able to forget that night. The smell of the corpse they dug up or that grotesque mask that Bubba wore. The empty, black eye sockets that stared at me. It was worse than a scene any movie I ever saw or any comic book I ever read. But I know I saw a side of humanity that few ever see and I survived it.


End file.
